I’m not generally in the business of second-guessing the decisions of major companies, but I do have to express at a minimum skepticism at Pixar’s strategy regarding the Cars movies.
Specifically, I have no idea why the hell they’re the Big Tentpole Franchise that Pixar leans on for its revenue (non-Toy Story division). It—well, it’s a bit confusing, is what it is. I should admit up front that I’ve never actually seen any of the Cars movies except for like an hour of the first one in middle school (English class, I think? Maybe math or social studies? Probably a sub? I know for sure the class was being taught by one of my P.E. teachers, which makes it sound kind of like a dream, but I swear to God that this happened), so I could be missing something important.
And I’ll grant that I’m not the target audience for these movies; I’m just a bit too old and Pixar for me means the films that they released between A Bug’s Life and The Incredibles. By the time Cars 2 rolled around I was a high school sophomore and now I’m twenty and here comes Cars 3, like the slow, inevitable slide toward death.
But still, it’s maddening that I cannot seem to get a fucking grip on these movies. Why do they rate sequels, spin-offs, toys, an entire themed land at Disneyland? I seem to be missing something major, and I mean major, here. Read More…
- What sort of person makes a detailed Wikipedia entry for Luann?
- How do I ensure that I never meet that person?
Hey, all. Sorry I haven’t been able to post more, but the world’s kind of crazy and stupid, school’s keeping me busy, I still don’t have a proper computer; you know—
Wait, something’s happening today, but I can’t quite—
[Consults wall calendar, hash marks on wall next to wall calendar, and old-fashioned page-a-day desk calendar (1)]
…Oh, yeah, it’s the day before Valentine’s Day, the 97th anniversary of the League of Nations recognizing the perpetual neutrality of Switzerland, the 17th anniversary of the death of Peanuts creator Charles M. Schulz, and—
TWO YEARS, BITCHES!
(No GIFs because, like I said, no proper computer yet.)
 They still sell these, I think.
12. “Joan Crawford”
11. “Shooting Shark”
10. “Then Came the Last Days of May”
9. “Black Blade”
8. “(Don’t Fear) the Reaper”
7. “Cities on Flame with Rock and Roll”
6. “Flaming Telepaths”
5. “Sole Survivor”
4. “Burnin’ for You”
3. “Fire of Unknown Origin”
2. “Veteran of the Psychic Wars”
A Very Long and Heavily Involved Post about The Sexuality of Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu in the Upcoming Star Trek Movie (and Presumably Further Works Set in the Kelvin Timeline, as Well as Possibly in the Prime Universe), Considered from the Viewpoint of Someone who Is Both a Star Trek Fan and A Member of the LGBT Community…
Sure, why the hell not?
Okay, gotta say something about this week, if only because I’ve been slacking since May.
Here goes: I am nearly at the point of not having a rat’s ass to give about whether or not black, blue, all, green, pink with purple polka-dots, orange, zebra-striped, or all lives matter. And I know that sounds callous, but I just want people to stop killing one another. It’s that damned simple. Enough already, whatever–you know, I can’t do my whole aloof-above-it-all commentator routine, since I want to sneer in contempt or put my fist through the monitor. So, here’s what I’ve got to say: Stop murdering each other. More substantive content to resume eventually.