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Two Questions

  1. What sort of person makes a detailed Wikipedia entry for Luann?
  2. How do I ensure that I never meet that person?

13 Tips on Talking Politics at the Thanksgiving Dinner Table

This election has sucked, let’s be real. It’s been nasty, divisive, mean. Chances are you’re bitter and/or hypertensive; you may have developed some new sort of stress-related infection or had the lining of your esophagus eaten away by acid reflux. And now it’s Thanksgiving, only two weeks after the election, and you’ve got to talk to your relatives. Your relatives who—at least for the premises of this article—you don’t agree with politically and voted for Trump. Now—ulp!—you’ve got to sit down and make nice for a few hours over pie and turkey. You can, of course, try to divert the conversation and stick to non-political topics—sports, TV, Cousin Bernie’s trip to Costa Rica. But this tactic may fail. Hell, it probably will, especially once Grandma’s gotten into the sherry or ol’ Uncle Hank’s started in about George Soros. Toward this eventuality, and in hopes that your holiday season will be a more pleasant experience than a grinding one, we here at Chasing the Rabbit have prepared a list of tips which we have found helpful in dealing with political arguments during the holidays.

1. Move to Florida for a year.

2-10. Move across the country (at least 3000 miles, preferably with a mountain range or two, a few state lines, a nice big river–this should be easy enough in the continental United States), so that a visit is impractical at best—more of an airplane flight deal than a simple drive.

11. Maintain a comparative radio silence—don’t contact your relatives outside of a nodding acquaintance on Facebook, the odd vacation meetup, maybe a phone call once or twice a year.

12. Spend Thanksgiving with your friends instead. Remember, you don’t have to put up with some jackass just because they’re family.

13. Enjoy your holiday and celebrate the way you like it.

Blue Oyster Cult Songs, Ranked by Plausibility of Association with the Martian Manhunter

12. “Joan Crawford”

11. “Shooting Shark”

10. “Then Came the Last Days of May”

9. “Black Blade”

8. “(Don’t Fear) the Reaper”

7. “Cities on Flame with Rock and Roll”

6. “Flaming Telepaths”

5. “Sole Survivor”

4. “Burnin’ for You”

3. “Fire of Unknown Origin”

2. “Veteran of the Psychic Wars”

1.  “Godzilla”

Thought for the Day

TokyoPop’s alive, Donald Trump’s a serious Presidential candidate, and people are arguing—apparently in good faith—that police officers are justified in shooting a twelve-year-old with a toy gun. I haven’t logged into Tumblr in months and I’m considering dropping it altogether because I don’t exactly enjoy it and the development team has succeeded in completely screwing up the user interface. It was 70 degrees Fahrenheit in the Eastern United States over Christmas weekend, and now Illinois is in the middle of an ice storm.

Look, at some point reality slipped its clutch and I’d like the clutch to unslip at some point, the sooner the better.

Throw it at the Wall and See What Sticks Edition

Thirteen years ago, three airplanes crashed into the World Trade Center and Pentagon. I would call this an act of senseless violence except that there was sense to it–in a Shakespearean sense of the word [1]. Senseless or no, it was a horrible tragedy and I assume that all of you have given the event some thought.

With the acknowledgement of the horrible, stupid, sense-making, tragic events of September 11th, 2001, out of the way, other events of note:

  • In a coup for the dying newspaper industry, Stephan Pastis’ Pearls Before Swine will now run in the Des Moines Register. Residents of Des Moines (of whom there must be some in this blog’s readership) take note.
  • Radar archaeology has uncovered [2] a lot previously unknown about Stonehenge. The major find is the buried city underneath and in the vicinity of the ancient monument, with–this is just what the Register led with [3]–a complex for human sacrifice and various pits for tracking the movements of celestial bodies. Also, they drank beer; the English don’t change much.
  • In other science news, the Canadian government has found one of the ships from Sir John Franklin’s doomed 1845 expedition to find the fabled Northwest Passage, though it’s unclear whether they found HMS Terror or HMS Erebus [4]Apropos of that, some Stan Rogers:

  • Although it’s been strongly windy today in Vancouver–you might even say blustery–it’s Thursday, so I cannot in good conscience wish you all a happy Windsday.
  • I can, however, share today’s Peanuts:

  • That’s it, I think.

–Alex Adrian, 9/11/’14


[1] Macbeth, Act II, Scene i, specifically.
[2] Er, so to speak.
[3] The full headline was, “City hidden beneath England’s Stonehenge had a HUMAN ABATTOIR. And a pub/Boozed-up ancients drank beer before tearing corpses apart.”
[4] Excellent ship names, those.

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